July 21

Today I went to class as usual with my classmates in Nauvoo. During class I made the mistake of looking at my Facebook updates and saw that my dear friend Katie had passed away earlier that morning. I knew this day was coming but I did not want to find out through Facebook and in the middle of class. I left the class room and did not come back and people noticed. Tiffany came looking for me about ten minutes later, found me, and held me while I cried. A few weeks earlier her grandmother passed away so she knew exactly what I was going through. It amazes me how the Lord is able to place people in our lives right when we need them. My classmates were so kind to me today. (Alex bought me peanut butter, double stuffed oreos and chocolate chip cookies. A mysterious person left me a big box of puffs tissues with some salted peanuts by my bedside while I was taking a nap...so I do not know who to thank and several people gave me hugs)

I was able to pretty much spend the day alone to grieve which was what I needed/wanted. I took a nap, woke up and took a shower. I felt a lot better and started interacting with people a little bit more.

It's now 2:30 in the morning, I should be asleep but sleep has escaped me. (This is a little random... the power just went out...gotta love Nauvoo rain storms) When I went to bed all of the grief I should have released while I took my nap came out. I was able to talk to my mom on the phone for a bit but I was still a mess after the call. Several months earlier I bought an audiobook to prepare me for when Katie would pass. It is called "What's on the Other Side" by Brent Top. I never listened to it because I did not want to think about Katie being in the Spirit World. At about midnight, I remembered that I had the audiobook and started to listen to it. Brother Top's words have helped the spirit bring me peace. I am still really sad and I will probably still struggle a little each day trying to bring myself to the realization that Katie isn't here, but I know Katie is okay. I hope that I can keep this peace with me for the rest of my time here in Nauvoo. There is still more for me to learn here and I am very grateful that the Lord has made it possible for me to be here.

I plan to document some of my memories of Katie but right now is not a good time for that. I should be sleeping and shall attempt to do so now :)